I need...

I'm totally ganking this idea from Connie, who admittedly gangked it from Julie.

They googled "Connie needs" and "Julie needs" and found a list of all kinds of things they apparently need.

I did this and according to Google, here's what Jessica needs:

Jessica needs coffee. Each and every morning like clockwork.

Jessica needs to stop dressing like a slut. Hey! To each his own. This surprised me because I cover up (mostly because there are laws protecting citizens from such sights as me dressing in relatively little clothing).

Jessica needs a bigger Al-bra. WTH is an Al-bra? And, does this in any way relate to the fact that I need to stop dressing like a slut?

Jessica needs your help. Um, probably not. Unless the help you offer is in the form of a daily full body massage for the rest of my life. Then yes, I need your help!

Jessica needs to put some clothes on. Holy crap kids! I get the message. Calm down.

Connie also Googled what she wants, so here we go...

Jessica wants to get rough. No comment.

Jessica wants one night stands to experiment with sex. I'm starting to think of other names I like more than Jessica.....

Jessica wants six kids. Well, clearly if I want one night stands, then it's a real possibility that I'll want six kids. Good grief this is getting rough. Oh wait, apparently I want it rough.

Jessica wants to play the leading man in a movie. Even if I wanted to, I can't because apparently I dress too slutty.

Well, wasn't that a fun trip down Google lane?

What I hoped would be a light hearted internet exercised quickly turned into a quest for self-preservation.

I wonder what Hubs wants....

Craig wants to go nude in the first Bond film......

Oh Lord.

 

Hubbs vs. Mary Kay

Today I laughed so hard I cried.

We were sitting in the living room watching TV when the doorbell rang. Hubs always answers the door and this time was no exception. He opened the door and I could hear him speaking with a female. After a couple of seconds, he leaned back into the house and said, "uh, honey, why don't you come here?"

I made my way over to the door and spoke with the Mary Kay lady who was roaming the neighborhood handing out her business card (I had actually met her many years ago at a MK party my sister held at my moms house). I thanked her for coming by, but let her know I already have a MK consultant.

I closed the door and headed back towards the living room. Hubs greeted me at the entrance to the room and said, "well, that was awkward."

"Oh. Really? Whys that?"

"Well, I opened the door, the lady smiled at me and said, 'Hi. Is your mom home?'"

HAHAHAHAHAHA!

She asked my husband if his mom was home!!! I haven't laughed that hard in many, many years!

I immediately called his mother to relate the story. I knew she'd get a kick out of it!